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Alright! Projects are turned in, essays are written, animations are blocked out, at last I have a moment for video games! After my last embarrassing attempt at gaming where I failed every game I picked up, I admit I’m not as excited as I usually am. I decided to try White Knight Chronicles again, since I am able to grind for a while on extra quests, so I won’t die again.


One of the better/worse parts of this game is that no matter where you are in the game, so long as you have access to the world map, you can head back to town very easily. Its great because I can get the gear I need, potions and equipment. It’s bad because it makes no sense story-wise as to why I’d go back to the capital city at the drop of a hat.


I decided to try one of the extra quests, starting out simple. I just have to survive in this area until the time runs out. It just doesn’t tell you until you’ve started the quest how much time it is.


Two freaking hours, that’s how much. I’m sorry but that’s a long time. I don’t generally enjoy grinding unless the battle system is a lot of fun. Batman Arkham City is one of those games where I’m totally cool with beating up random thugs, just for the lols. However, this battle system isn’t that good and the idea of two hours of this without any game progression sounds more like a chore than fun.


So that being said, I won’t bore you with too much commentary on my gaming session tonight. It was basically fighting monsters and trying to gain levels.


I have to say though, one of my favorite aspects of this game is the language. Even the random soldiers you can talk to in the quests are hilarious, using words like ‘razzle frazzle’ instead of cursing and yelling at you like a drill sergeant. This game knows it’s corny and hams it up, which is the saving grace of the game. When I’m not dying, I always end up smiling in this game. In that aspect, it’s pretty fun. Since there is little of that while grinding, I’m pretty bored and glad when I finally finish tonight. Hopefully that means I can get further in the story next time and I can laugh more at this ridiculous game.

So because of school and other obligations, I’m going to have to cut back on my SnailGamer posts.  I’ll be posting once a week for a while with occasional extras as they come up.  In the meantime, please enjoy this picture inspired by my last Zelda post.



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AAND we start with another cut scene.


We finally have the name of the Black Knight, it is Dragias!


Somehow they know where we’re at, walking through the caves. Dragias is commanded to go kill us as we exit the cave. The Black Knight is coming to visit meee~ yay!


Cut back to the Knight Captain at the Capital.

Sarvain and him bicker about what they should do. Sarvain wants to get the princess back and the Captain wants to march on the other country. Furious that he’s not getting his way, he storms off and Sarvain mutters to random minion next to him about not letting him ‘ruin his plans’. You mean he’s possibly evil? WHAT A SHOCK!


We are treated for a boring flashback for Knight Captain. Apparently, as a kid, he brought back the Queen’s necklace and the King rewarded him by letting him call the King “father”, which is meaningless to me until they explain that by doing so, he is making the kid a vassal. The king decided to make him so because of his “clear, bright eyes.”


The King is a creeper. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Knight Captain has an emo moment because he couldn’t protect his king and country. And heads off into the day, because he’s not cool enough for a sunset.


Reaching the end of the tunnels, we’re met by the Black Knight. Oh, I’m so surprised. Maybe there might be nice little surprises for us if they don’t tell us everything before hand.


The battle with him is very disappointing, until he summons A GIANT MECHA. BECAUSE JAPAN. Wait… How does he fit in the tunnels…?

Man, the voice actor is having way too much fun with his role as a villain. Wait a minute… I know that voice actor. CRISPIN FREEMAN, IS THAT YOU!? No wonder I like this character, his voice actor is one of my favorite voice actors. He has such evil glee in his voice.


So Black Knight leaves instead of killing Leonard. He bemoans the fact that all that he’s done is give us more battle experience and then buggers off.


We’re told by Jedi-guy that there are five Mechas and if they all come together the “Final Awakening” starts.


After the tunnels, we’re gifted with yet another cut scene. The fat bird calls Leonard over to talk to Cisna alone. Oh my.

Oh gag me. They make gooey faces at each other without actually talking about anything real. Leonard gets her to look around where she is at and confirm she’s still in the desert.


They ‘touch’ through the bird’s telepathy and THEN DANCE TOGETHER! Because THAT’S what you do when you’ve been kidnapped and communicating with the boy who you met briefly and is putting his life in danger. DANCE


“I wish we can talk some more,” she says before signing off.




Yulie (remember her? Forgettable Eponine character?) watches from a tree and has a sad.


The Black Knight comes back to Weaselly Companion and admits he wimped out. Weaselly Companion says there’s another way to kill him. Through assassination! YES! Killing him through killing him! GENIUS!


Oh dear lord, this game! It’s awesome in its cliché and badness.


In addition to all these wonderful plot twists and character developments, the game has fallen into a very predictable pattern of enter a scene, say the tunnels or the plains, and you battle random encounters, have two, maybe three, cut scenes, and a boss. Apparently you can’t just pass through the tunnels, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A BOSS TO FIGHT. Even it was completely pointless, like in this last one.


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